Happy Early Birthday, My Love...... NOT

Today I had a talk with Luke. He was Supposed to be on his way home last night WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HE FUCKING TOLD ME!!! And before that he was supposed to be home in time for my party last night... Guess what? No show. I spent Half the night Either pissed off or crying because he was being a dick and a half. Definitely not the way to spent a party at all. I then learn today that he will not be coming home until after my 2 week stay in Reno, NV. which I leave on the 4th for reno.... So guess what Luke gets to do.... He gets to miss my goddamn birthday on the 2nd. He gets to NOT take my to my appointment for my hip and back this week and also gets to party and get free shit in Reno because his brother runs a high class bar/restaurant there.... Oh but he misses me like crazy.... but doesn't call, or txt, or ANYTHING. I'm always the one initiating the fucking conversation and I'm sorry if my swearing offends any readers but THEY ARE JUST WORDS TO EMPHASIZE THE LEVEL OF ANGERY AND HATRED I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW WHICH IS WHY THIS SENTENCE IS IN CAPITALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I literally feel a burning fire in my chest and feel that breaking stuff would make me feel better. But alas, I will not. 1: Because I have a lot of expensive stuff in my house that I don't want to have to replace and 2: because I feel that right now, Luke isn't worth my goddamn time. If he can't pick up the phone and call me and wants to make excuses to stay in Reno instead of telling me "hey honey, I'm going to stay in reno for a month and a half. But I will fly you out here for the fourth of July." Then i don't want to fucking talk to him EITHER (P.S. the capitals mean i'm yelling really really loud.... Just, not OUT loud...)

He knew i needed him here for my appointment and yes they are both appointments to determine if I need surgery. But he jimmied his way out of those... AFTER he has been telling me for the past WEEK "Yes dear i'm leaving tomorrow. Oh no baby i don't feel good i'll leave tomorrow. THey found something else wrong with my car I'll leave tomorrow." What he should have said before he left was "Hey babe, I'm going to Reno. I'm going to see my son for a week. Then i'm going to make up excuses not to come back for a extra month. And by the way, I'm gonna leave you hanging so you'll have to be depressed at your house warming party (which out of all of my friends that i invited the only person that showed up was my mom and stepdad.) you're going to have to scramble to find a ride to your surgery appointments and to pick up your son. I'm also going to miss your 22nd birthday because, well, because even though i love you, I'm not going to try to hard to get home to you. I'm actually not going to call you to much to let you know that i'm safe and thinking about you. I'm not going to text you either. Instead I'm going to say that i'm not getting them every time i actually do talk to you and when i do text i wont answer your questions about what i'm doing or when i will be home. Instead, i will only tell you that i am really sorry , even though i'm not, and tell you that i love you with all of my heart. Because if i say those 2 things then you will automatically forgive me for missing all this important stuff that i said i will be there for because your mind is so simplistic that you wont know what else to do."
Well, GUESS WHAT! I am hating you with all the fires and hideous passions of HELL!!! Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND AND SHOULD DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU SAY YOU ARE GOING TO DO!!! Miss me a lot do you? YEAH FUCKING RIGHT. I swear to the gods that you will feel my pain. One way or another, you WILL feel my pain. And you know what. I'll make you feel said pain near YOUR next birthday. That way i can do, pretty much, the exact same thing you are doing to me... Happy Early Birthday, My love..... NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!